“Courage is not having no fear. It’s being afraid but doing it anyway.”
I’ve been looking through multiple websites all day trying to find the cheapest tickets for flying in and out of Europe for my backpacking trip. And I think I’ve found the one. But now that I’ve sorted that out I can’t bring myself to click on that orange little button book.
It’s irrational, I know. All I’ve been talking about since even before I graduated was how I was going on this great adventure to comb the magnificent cities, eat mouth-watering food and just having a bloody fantastic time. But now… Now I’m not so sure.
I’m planning a trip from August 31st till January 29th. 4 months and 29 days of being immersed in beautiful cultures and unforgettable sights.
But…what if I don’t enjoy myself? What if I get there and the “oomph” factor that I’ve read so many bloggers rave about just doesn’t hit me? What if I feel as numbed and lifeless there as I do here?
And then there’s the more legitimate fears. 4 months and 29 days?! What if I don’t have enough money to support myself? (Red alert! insufficient planning, I know) What if all throughout the trip all my mind can fret over is whether or not that college application got through? What ifs, what ifs and more what ifs!
“Worrying says more about the worrier than the worries.”
I’m afraid to commit to this decision because I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pull through. And of course that sounds so silly because the whole point of this trip is to let loose and just have fun. It’s not a blazing trail through purgatory! So I guess this whole post is basically just a boot to my own ass. I want to stop being such a worry-wart and if I don’t click that orange little button then I’ll forever remain the kind of person I don’t want to be. The kind of person that only talks about such great and grand things, but never actually do them…
“If you can worry, it means that nothing has actually happened.”
So. Pep Talk 101: Go out there and do it (whatever it is). Because when it comes down to crunch time, when you really have to, you’ll find a way to survive.
Once again, this anxiety filled post contains no interesting information whatsoever. I really do want to talk about my upcoming trip. When I’ve got the nitty gritties finalized that is.