swish swoosh swosh

by retrodiction

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”

– Friedrich Nietzsche

It’s been a pretty crazy 17 years and, if i’m lucky, another 60 more to come. Life has taken me on a ridiculous roller coaster ride, with unimaginable ups and downs i have yet to find appreciation for.

Something i learnt from Lit class: Deviant vs Norm.

There are things, on the most basic level, that are expected of us as individuals. The way we carry ourselves, the way we live life, and generally just the way we are as human beings. Humanity and its entirety is a concept i might never grasp. For instance, who’s to dictate the things we so readily accept as the “right way” or the “norm” as they are? Who’s to rebuke that it isn’t? Who’s to label any individual brave enough to stand on their own, away from the flow of the rest of society, so that they can live a life they so wished? That we so wish but lack the courage to pursue.
“Live fast, die young” i thence presume is a way of life of the deviants. Because exciting but short-lived is better than long but dreary? Why do we persist to live a way of life we wish nothing more than to be rid of? So many unanswerable questions…

While things have been going great recently, i can’t seem to shake this empty feeling that’s been nagging at me lately. There are so many things i still can’t wrap my head around. Far too many for my liking. But i’m not a little girl anymore. I’ve grown up and ‘Fair” is word that doesn’t exist in a grown up’s vocabulary. We’ll learn, far too soon, that the real world is a cruel place. No tolerance for anything less than perfect and no place for the weak.

So an accumulation of the ‘norms’ has allowed me to meander through 17 years worth of unchartered territories . But imagine another 60 years of meandering. Is that really living? Or simply just existing. I see no end to this tunnel, and i see no light at the end of said tunnel. My life thus far has been nothing more than a mere list of places to go and things to do. Predictable and safe. Safe. That’s no way to live.