roots before branches

by retrodiction

I’m ready to let you go.

It’s been a long time coming, and i’m finally ready. As is everything else in my world, there’s never a hundred percent certainty that i’ll be completely alright with it, but at least for now, i know that this is something i have to do, for myself. (Even if i might regret it sometime in the near future)
You should know that it has always been you. 

It doesn’t matter anymore. Even if you think that the things i did/ am doing are minute and insignificant, I just wanted you to know (in case you really didn’t already know) that i have never put in this much effort into something or someone. Maybe my persistence has been nothing but an annoyance to you, maybe you feel that i haven’t put in as much as effort as i think i did, well, nothing much left for me to say then.

You haven’t been the easiest person to get to know, and sadly after all this while, you’re still that distant person. But there isn’t a single moment i’ve spent with you that i don’t cherish. That is why you should also know that i’m letting go not because you’re no longer important to me, if anything you’ve become almost an integral part of me. I’m letting go because i feel that everything has been one-sided and i don’t have the strength to keep pushing anymore. I truly believe that i have fought (real hard, if i might add) to be in your life. Maybe i’m the not the most patient or interesting person, but isn’t it the thought that counts? I had wished more times than you will ever know, to give me a sign, an acknowledgement, anything at all that tells me that you value this friendship as much i do. Well, if you do, you’ve hidden it pretty damn well.

I have never asked for anything more than a sincere friendship with you. But half the time all i feel is taken for granted. I have never had negative thoughts about you, but after everything… Well you’re pretty damn selfish.

So the ball’s in your court now. Your call. Not that it hasn’t been since day one. But this is it, this is the end. If you want me in your life as much as i would love to have you in mine, show me. I have proven myself but if you don’t feel that i have, if this is all just game to you, to push and pull and tug just to have me hover around for your convenience, then it wouldn’t at all be difficult for you to just up and leave this friendship like you did so many times before.