sand dunes of time

by retrodiction

I haven’t been updating lately. Seems like i can’t gather my thoughts into coherent enough sentences so… meh.
Moving alooong. Did i tell you just how EXCITED i am to be going to UK tomorrow. It seems so surreal. For the longest time ever, it’s been the only place i’ve wanted to go. Well, it’s only for a school trip and i’ll most probably be studying half the time, but IT’S THE GREAT BRITAIN MY FELLOW LOVEABLE WORDPRESSERS. I CANNOT CONTAIN MY OVERFLOWING EXCITEMENT AND PURE UNADULTERATED JOY. *prancing-to-imaginary-happy-music*

Also, i’ve always been saying how it’ll be like a dream come true to be studying there, but all of a sudden New York seems all too appealing. Which brings me to the one thing that doesn’t ever leave my mind. My academics. It seems pretty silly to be worrying all the time, but i do. I do worry. And i go over every possible horrible scenario and my god, is it bad! What if i don’t promote, or what if i don’t graduate. Or worse still, what if i graduate with unsatisfactory results. Good enough to graduate but not good enough to go anywhere i desire. What if i don’t get to live my dreams. What if i grow old stuck to a desk in a nine-to-five job i hate but can’t quit because i’ve got a family to feed and a husband who hates my guts as much as i hate his but can’t divorce because without this hate, i’d be an empty shell of a person. And a spinster with 99 cats. What normal person doesn’t worry about these things. Right…?

Another thing, if you ever have kids in the future please remember to tell them this:

You are not spoilt or rotten, unworthy or hopeless. You aren’t any of the bad things they try to label you with. While from time to time you might do something i’d frown upon, it doesn’t define who you are. If something is a mistake, then that act that you’ve committed, that’s bad. You, you’re not. No child is. (Discounting extremely mentally unsound individuals) And i wish nothing more than for you to push the buttons of the world and live by your own rules.